The problem of being honest
Honesty is one of the characteristics I value the most in people. Integrity, honesty, the courage to speak the truth regardless of what it is, is golden. It’s also hard. In the politically correct world we live in, it feels like it has become toxic. If you speak your mind, you will most probably be interpreted by others as “rude”, “mean”, “arrogant” and my personal favorite —”negative”.
Why is it so hard to speak the truth? Yes, sometimes truth can be tough to hear, it can hurt, but is it really better to lie and be lied to? It seems that more and more people have fallen to the “if you don’t agree with me in everything, I can’t be your friend nor do I need to respect you” -group. It makes it especially hard to find true friends with that kind of thinking being in the majority. You can be honest and kind at the same time, but in the politically correct world of ours where the main purpose of human interaction seems to mean that you’ve got to be everyone’s best friend, it is a slipper slope in the best of times.
“Being nice shouldn’t be confused with being kind. Being kind means taking responsibility for your impact on other people, something we should all do. But it doesn’t mean giving in so that the person sitting across from you will be superficially happy. You are responsible for how you make others feel, but you can be kind while having tough conversations or giving people less than they want.”
I read this quote a while ago, and I’m sorry I can’t trace it back to its author, but it truly resonated with me. I’ve thought about it a lot lately when people have asked me if I like living in Sydney. When the person across from me is a local, I usually take a deep breath before I answer, because I know they’re not going to like what I’ll say. Usually, they’re surprised, even defensive. I try to explain to them that it’s just my opinion and what people prefer in life whether it’s foods they eat or things they do or a place they live, is not a competition. It’s just an individual preference. I like this but you don’t have to, and it’s okey. So, even though I know I will disappoint many of my listeners, I prefer to tell the truth.
We shouldn’t have to abandon our values to try make other people happy or to be accepted. It is not our job to validate other’s existence. Rather we have a job to be true to ourselves. Approval and validation is best when it comes from within. It takes bravery and courage to to carve your own path and stay on it. But I believe that at the end of the day, those who stay loyal to themselves will have more fulfilling and happier lives than those trying to always please everyone and feeling compelled to conform to outside expectations. It’s your life after all, not anyone else's.
